Jay Trachman
See how many of these apply to you. I have a teenage daughter who’s becoming a shopaholic. She and a friend will go to the mall and stay too long, without letting us know where they are. Her cell phone is often buried deep in her purse so she doesn’t hear it, and sometimes, when she finally shows up I don’t know whether to hug her from sheer relief, or strangle her. I also have a dog, who runs the family; he’s growing old and has hearing loss — selectively.
I like to watch TV — although I find that even with the Dish, all too often there’s “nothing on” those 500 channels that I care to watch. I have a DVR and know that if I just taped the interesting stuff that’s on throughout the day, I could fill in those holes. But very few shows ever get taped, and of those, many never get watched.
I like to go to buffet restaurants and I fantasize about eating a light salad and main course, so I can pig out at the dessert bar. But every time I try it, I get too full after the first refill.
I like to drive, but it makes me bananas when people tailgate. I know all about how to drive to conserve energy, and one of these days I really ought to start doing that.
I fly a lot on business, and I like to think I have no fear whatever of flying. But I still cinch my seatbelt up real tight just before landing or take-off, and prepare myself to brace if (God forbid) anything should go wrong. I know what’s on the “safety cards” by heart, but I still look up from my magazine when the flight attendant goes through them, because I’m afraid she’ll think less of me if I ignore her. One airline pack of those stupid crunchy snacks is just enough to make me want more.
I like to have friends over, but when we’re hosting as a couple, the women usually end up in one room and the guys in another.
How much of this do you identify with? For those events you haven’t experienced personally, do you
know a close friend or relative who has? How many of these items “miss” you completely? I believe they all fit into what you might call “the human experience,” or, more specifically, “the American” experience.
There is one type of experience that I can say with confidence is truly universal: emotions. Everybody laughs, at one time or another; everybody cries; everybody has feelings of joy, sadness, tenderness, anger, love, hate, hunger, lust, you-name-it. And, judging by the content of the entertainment we choose, everybody enjoys experiencing those feelings — all of them — at least now and then. Thus, on the radio, as in all entertainment, one of the main things we do is to help the listener feel his or her feelings. How do you do it?
Mostly with the music, these days. There’s no doubt that music can engender feelings, and strong ones. Who (Christian or not) isn’t stirred by Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless The U.S.A.” or the Hallelujah Chorus? From there on down, tastes diverge wildly, but the point is, music is a potent tool for helping us to feel our emotions. That’s why we seek it out. Even though the effect probably wears off after the first few minutes.
The other way we can, as entertainers, put our listeners in touch with their feelings, is from the things we say. The specifics of our own experiences frequently fall into the broad category of experience for most humans. But even when they don’t match those of our listener, the thing that does is the emotions they bring out. Just because you’ve never flown on a plane, doesn’t mean you won’t be nervously amused at my description of terror. (Otherwise, how do you explain the success of the “Airplane” movies?) You may never have met a flight attendant, but I’ll bet you’ve been in a situation where you paid attention for no other reason than that you didn’t want to be seen ignoring an authority figure.
You may not have any children — but you’ve been a child, and you know lots of people who have them, and you know all the feelings that bloom in the fertile field of parent-child relationships. You may never have had a pet — you may hate dogs. But I bet you know someone who has one, and lets it rule their lives. You may not own a DVR — but isn’t there some little discipline in your life where all you have to do to enhance your happiness or well-being, is do it… and you rarely do?
I’m writing all this because I was asked a question recently in a Jock Doc session, which pops up regularly: “What if the specifics of the things I’m talking about don’t match those of my listener? How will he or she be able to relate?” The answer is that the human experience is largely universal, but even when the specifics are unique, the emotions aren’t. And when you talk about something that caused you strong feelings, and express your feelings so well that the listener experiences his/her own emotions — you’ve done your job.
Jay Trachman is publisher of “One to One,” a weekly information and humor service for broadcasters. Jay can be reached at: phone (559) 448 0700, fax (559) 448 0761, e-mail at 121@att.net, or www.121online.net. Reprinted with permission.
