By: Jay Trachman

Here’s what I think: I think the war on drugs is a crock, an outrageous waste of your money and mine, irresistibly appealing to those with an authoritarian bent, especially in government, because it allows them to expand their control. And yet, I have no wish to use cocaine, and would be horrified to see my children doing it.

I think nobody has any right to tell a human what they may put in their body, or take out. I think those who believe in limiting a woman’s right to end her pregnancy have found a powerful ploy to mask their basic goal, which is to make their particular moral code law. And yet, there are people I know and like who believe in the so-called “right to life” movement; much as I hate this viewpoint, I know them as very decent, intelligent people, not all that different from you and me in most ways.

I think religion, for the most part, has had a negative impact on our species, as evidenced by all the wars and crimes committed in its name over the centuries — and to this very day. I think intolerance is as much a fundamental side-effect of religion, as the secret police are to a dictatorship. And yet, I went to great pains to make sure my son had a proper religious education.

I think the reason we get a new “proof” of global warming every week, and the reason any scientist with the temerity to disagree with the gang is ridiculed – rather than debated – is that those who believe in it know that most people are skeptical of their “religion.” These are the same people who were socialists until socialism was so thoroughly discredited in the collapse of the Soviet empire. And yet – I do think it’s good business, these days, to be as “green” as possible.

I think 90% of all politicians are liars, and 99% are motivated by something much scarier than money: power. Power over you and me. And yet… I’m endlessly fascinated with politics. Sometimes I write presidential speeches in my head. If George Bush called tomorrow and said, “Jay, I want you to write some stuff for me,” I’d jump.

If I’ve accomplished anything so far, I hope I’ve offended you at least once.

I’m not suggesting for a minute that you ought to offend everyone you possibly can — although that is a successful formula for some performers. I’m not even suggesting you be controversial on the air. My only point is that opinions don’t chase listeners (or viewers) away; in fact, they tend to attract them.

As a DJ, you’re not there to “convert the masses” to your point of view. But, like any real human being, I think you ought to have opinions, and occasionally express them. It has to be done correctly, of course.  It helps if your opinions, like mine, are a little out of the mainstream — even slightly off the wall. That way it’s easy to offend everyone equally, without being mistaken for a partisan of a particular point of view.

It helps even more if you can present your views, not as Gospel, not as “What any right-thinking person would think,” but simply as one human being talking to another. Opinions should almost always be given as personal views.  Often it helps to include a disclaimer: “I know a lot of people disagree with me, but personally, I can’t help thinking…” Bart Simpson‘s old technique can work here, too: “Don’t have a cow, but…”

Opinions needn’t be on major issues. As neighbors, we’re usually better off talking about the trivia of life. “I hate it when they throw my paper on my neighbor’s lawn, don’t you? I always feel everybody on the block is watching me pick it up, and they’re sure I’m stealing it…”

One way to avoid listener complaints is to balance. If you do jokes about one party, be sure you stick it to their opponents occasionally. If you’re going to make fun of a preacher, then watch for opportunities to make fun of non-religious hypocrites, too. You get the idea.

If you’re doing opinions — like humor — there are going to be complaints occasionally. In my opinion, the only significant thing to worry about is whether or not your management supports you. Each of us needs to find out in advance.

And never forget that your purpose is to provide companionship, not to preach. It just so happens that real companions have occasional opinions they Share. So should you.

Jay Trachman is publisher of “One to One,” a weekly information and humor service for broadcasters. Jay can be reached at: phone (559) 448 0700, fax (559) 448 0761, e-mail at 121@att.net, or www.121online.net. Reprinted with permission.