by Jay Trachman
A few small, but important, points that have come out in recent Jock Doc sessions…
First: A student had this adaptation of a One to One line in a recent show; can you tell what’s wrong with it? “That new dog I got can read — he can really read! Yeah, I took him to the market and he saw a sign that said, ‘Wet Paint,’ so he did…”
My problem is, he’s lying a little too hard. I know that didn’t really happen and you probably do, too. You also know that most of the one-liners in this service are set up with yourself or other people as foils. I believe that’s a nice personal way of doing a joke — but when you start to sound like you really want me to believe your set-up, then a line is crossed. I feel a little used, if I did believe it — and a little patronized, if I didn’t.
I would have sat on the one-liner until a song came up that I could tie it to, and then run with, “Reminds me of the guy who claimed his dog could read…”
This is a judgment call. If you’re running lines about “Uncle Elmo,” who is obviously a “cartoon character,” then the very name, as well as the material, cues us in that you’re kidding. I don’t think you ever want the listener to feel like you’re trying to sucker him or her into your gag. Ideally, he should feel “in on the joke” from the start. Your credibility is one of the most important parts of your “credentials” with the listener; be very careful not to squander it.
Second point: What’s wrong with this break? “Last night Diane and I were at Big Jim’s listening to the Circle K Band, when…” Right — who the hell is Diane? As it turns out, Diane is the mid-day person. Oh? I just tuned in for the first time; how am I supposed to know that?
You’ve just blown an opportunity for a cross-promo, and left me feeling like an outsider. Whenever you mention another person whose identity is not perfectly obvious even to the newest, most casual listener, add a few words to nail it down: “Last night Diane Curtis, your mid-day host on KJT, and I were at Big Jim’s…” (If time allows, it doesn’t hurt to add at the end of the rap: “Diane Curtis — she’s so much fun, in person and on KJT, every weekday at noon!”)
It’s part of the principle of making every break self-contained. If you’re doing a running bit, it should be referred back to in each break, like this: “I was talking a few minutes ago about that dog who can read…”
As a personality, the way you acquire new “friends” is by making them feel a part of what’s going on, not like outsiders. One way you accomplish this is by making sure that the brand-new tuner-in understands everything.
Third: Here’s a pet peeve of mine. Contests should be more than, “The tenth caller wins!” 99% of your listeners will never participate in any contest. That means it’s wasted time for them, unless the game is fun to listen to. Until you get up into the rarified reaches of thousands of dollars, I don’t think the fact that your station gives stuff away is much of an argument for most people to listen. Especially when nearly every other station is doing the same.
Games should be simple enough for a new listener to understand immediately. Ideally they should cause chatter, and they should be fun to listen to. At the very least, offer a trivia question. Once in awhile, it can even be a “nonsense” question, because that’s fun to hear: “I have two tickets to tonight’s Community Theatre production of My Fair Lady for the tenth caller who can answer this question: What is the play that is currently being presented by Community Theatre?” (You’d be surprised at the number of wrong guesses you’ll get!)
Only slightly more involved, but highly superior: “Tomorrow, I’ll give away two tickets (etc.) to a listener who can tell me any three productions in the past ten years, put on by our own Community Theatre!” Local trivia is superior to general trivia, and when you offer a time-span for listeners to find the answer, you almost guarantee some chatter.
It takes a little research to put together a list of local trivia questions, but it’s not hard. Find out the names of local council-persons, the year the town was incorporated, the names of the local high school teams, the average amount of rainfall to the nearest inch, the biggest cash crop locally… Keep the questions fairly easy. A good rule of thumb: Is this something kids in elementary school would probably know from social studies class? (Get parents asking their kids for answers, and you’ve really done something!) A nice side-effect is that when you’re talking about the community, you’re enhancing your image — and that of the station — as “tuned in” to the area and its history.
Fine points, yes… but a powerful show is the result of many little things, superbly executed.
Jay Trachman is publisher of “One to One,” a weekly information and humor service for broadcasters. Jay can be reached at: phone (559) 448 0700, fax (559) 448 0761, e-mail at 121@att.net, or www.121online.net. Reprinted with permission.
